Who To Be or Not To Be

I was on the way back home with dad today in the car today, and right in front of us appeared a concrete-mixer-truck-type-of-thingy on the wrong side of the road. With the sort of arrogance that usually accompanies built, it cruised down the road knowing nobody would dare stand in its path. And then I thought for a second – what if a moment of idealism took over my father and he parked the car right in front of that mixer thingy till it reversed and went to the right side of the road? The thought only lasted for a second, my dad obviously was not taken over by a moment of idealism, the mixer went its way – the wrong way, and we took a right towards home. But this incident reminded me of something I witnessed a couple of months back in the bicycle lane on the BRT corridor in Delhi. The lane, wide enough to accommodate scooters, motorcycles and even auto rickshaws, is usually taken over by them with the occasional sprinkling of bicyclists. This one day, a bicyclist decided to exercise his right over his lane, told his wife to get off the carrier, handed her his tiffin, and lay down across the lane with his beloved, his bicycle. He screamed and kept screaming – “I will not get up from here today. Take your bloody motorcycle over me if you want to. This lane belong me to and other cyclists. I will call the police.” People stood, they looked, and they laughed. Some did not even bother; they got off the bicycle lane, crossed the man, and got right back on. Some were ashamed enough to drive on the road meant for them. And some started harassing the man, calling him names, hitting him. They continued, till his wife started pleading him to get up, first softly and then vehemently. They continued, till the man was not broken, till he did not get up, leave behind his one man army and one man revolution, and move along just like all of us do everyday.

Maybe he was having a bad day or maybe the unfairness of life had gotten the better of him. I don't know what happened and I did not think of going up to speak to him. But I shudder to think of how fed up a regular man on a bicycle must be to take such a drastic stand for what rightfully belongs to him. This incident is small, even minute, was not seen by more than ten people and will definitely not get any media coverage. The man was not lying there for more than ten minutes. His actions did not create an uproar, and will definitely not create any societal change (that doesn't mean they didn't create any individual changes). But that one instant of his life could very well be the beginning of a lifelong journey. That impulsive decision of his to speak out (or lie down!) against an injustice could very well be the defining moment of his life. That one action is what represents his character to me, and it is by this I shall forever remember him. And by what he taught me – that we choose who to be or who not to be at each and every moment. The choice lies in our hands and we make the decision whether we acknowledge it or not. And with Anna Hazare's fast against corruption beginning today I can't help but think that it is with the strength of men like these that we still have some hope.

Interestingly, within five minutes all these thoughts went through my head on the way home. And immediately after that the 'who to be or not to be' question got me to another completely different situation. I started work at a new place yesterday. I was a 'freelancer' for a couple of months before this. I worked on my own terms, almost always for lesser money than I deserved, or no money at all. I loved the work I did, all of it. I had an assortment of things to keep me from getting bored with any one thing. And I kept busy. I talked to more people, I got more projects, I kept buuussssyyy!

So yesterday I started working at a new place for what does promise to be a very interesting project in the near future – travel writing for a conservation organization. But right now, I copy-paste from Word doc to Excel sheet. Very challenging I tell you to exercise the same finger muscles over and over again with the same amount of concentration and focus for 300 Word documents! That too sitting in an office from 10 AM to 6 PM, five to six days a week, being professional with hardly any external display of any sort of emotion. I want to do this for the writing part follows, but how?!?! I keep telling myself everybody goes through this, you need to go through it even if you despise it. A lot of people start with copy-paste. It'll get better. Give me, the job, the place some time. What all I keep trying to tell myself as I move from one doc to the other. But for some reason, I just don't listen to myself. I am a self admitted work snob. I know very clearly what I like doing, and I fully imbibe the 'work is play' philosophy. 'Everybody' does it and accepts it is just not reason enough for me to bow into acceptance. Which brought me back to 'who to be or not to be' – am I the one who blindly accepts or the one who consciously rejects?

That said, I will continue with this job. What follows is actually very exciting, challenging, new and right up my alley. So while I choose not to accept because of acceptance at large, I view this as a challenge, as an opportunity for me to overcome quite a few weaknesses and stop being a work snob!

Psst psst - I love blogging! I randomly jumped from one thought to the other without worrying about it just because they were linked together in my head! :-D